we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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