I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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