K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
