Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
