Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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