That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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