I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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