Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
