also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
