Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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