P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
