eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
