Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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