I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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