He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
