I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
