I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
