Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
