he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize