hotel room ftw
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
