you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
