i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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