Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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