i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
