i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
