So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
