yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So vagazzling was a success
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
