um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
