Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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