found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
