just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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