Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
