Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
