If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
40s are totally the cure
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
