So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
