just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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