Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
