we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
