i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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