He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
