So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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