i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
