what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
