Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
