hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
