Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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