If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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