ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
