Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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