Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
