should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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