Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
