Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
