At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
