My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
