you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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