I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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