I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
