I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
