it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
