A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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