A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
