Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
