I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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