they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
