Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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